C'est la vie.

{This post is one that I wrote while I was still in Madrid, but never published. At the time I didn't think I was finished writing it, but after rereading it just now I think it's just fine the way it is :) I wrote it as I was preparing to leave. I've been home for a month now!}

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. 

-Alan Cohen

I came across this quote one day whilst searching on google for encouraging quotes. I really liked this one when I read it 2 years ago before I moved across the ocean to live in the great peninsula of Spain. Back before I knew what no pasa nada meant and that when ordering something in a bar or coffee shop you'll get funny looks if you try to say "Can I please have a muffin?" Instead, you just say "Give me that muffin.. {please}. But the 'please' isn't required. 

There's a lot of things you learn about a place after you go through the daily interactions of life with the people. I like the line in the quote by Cohen that says, "in movement there is life... ." Things don't happen without a movement; a force that acts on a situation and causes an effect. If you don't like the place you're at in life, you have to actually do something for things to change.  There's something to be said for being still and simply being in the present, but change requires some sort of kick in the rear end, a sweet taste that leaves you wanting more.


I don't like dwelling on changes. My life changed a lot when I moved to Spain two years ago, and now I'm facing changes again as I prepare to move back to the states. The hardest part about this change is having to say goodbye to the wonderful community I've had here. I know that God will place equally awesome friends in my life, and I will carry these ones with me into the future, but it sucks to think that things won't be the same. 

I won't be able to just hop on the metro and meet my friends in the center of Sol. I won't be able to look forward to every Tuesday night with my small group. 

I won't have to encounter the brightly lit men that come into every bar and shop trying to sell you over-sized glasses, a million different light-up gadgets and red roses. 

I won't have to deal with awkward bus drivers and locutorio (internet cafe) workers that will find any excuse, such as learning English, to try to get a date.


The hardest part about change is facing up to who you are and what's going on inside you. Change makes us realize how not in control we are. We can be sailing smooth and then hit a wave or encounter a storm that makes us see that we need God. We know we need to let go and trust God, but that's easier said than done. But it's so much more rewarding. Sometimes we need to step out on a limb and listen to what God is telling us to do, even if it's the last thing we really desire to do at the moment. God can change our desires, simply put. Some days I don't even know what I really desire. I tell God one thing and I really want to mean it, but my heart seeks other things to satisfy. I run to people to meet the longing I have to feel loved and admired. It's good to have friends that love and care for you, but ultimately it should be God that satisfies every thirst and every need.

Update- Life in Madrid

Hello to you, whoever you may be.

It's been a while since I've updated, but more than that, it's been a long time since I've spoken to a lot of my friends at home. I've been seeing lots of blog updates by people on facebook, so I thought this would be the best way to share with everyone what has been going on over here in Spain :)

If you're not in the loop, I've been living in Spain for a little over a year now. I'm working as a teaching assistant in a bilingual school in the Communidad de Madrid. My school is actually located outside of the city but I live in the city and commute to work, an hour by bus each morning. You may think that's a crazy amount of time, but I'm used to it and I enjoy sleeping on the ride home, or reading a book. 

I really enjoy my school and the people that I work with, I'm pretty sure I'm not meant to be a teacher though. I studied Journalism and would like to have a job in the future that is in this feild. I like kids and I do learn a lot everday, but I'm not passionate about teaching. I think I might enjoy teaching more if I were the actual teacher of my own class. Some of the little kids at school will not listen to me when the teacher is gone, because they view me as an assistant and because I'm only allowed to speak English to them. But anyhow, I am thankful for all the teacher's out there. It's a hard job, and you've got a big responsibility!

I love my living situation in Spain. I am living in the room where my boyfriend lived last year. He rented a room in an apartment owned by the nicest Peruvian lady. He also had another teaching assistant flatmate who was American. Both of them moved out after the year of teaching, and I took the opportunity to ask before I went home last summer if the room might be available when I returned. It turns out that it was :) I live with Milagros (my Peruvian landlady) and a guy named Tomeo who is from Mallorca. It's a nice quaint piso with 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. I love living with Spanish people because it gives me the chance to practice a lot. I've learned a lot from Milagros. She's really great to talk to and she always helps me to understand things, or find the word that I'm trying to say but can't remember.

Speaking of my boyfriend, he's currently in England. We met last year working together. He was the other assistant at my school and he's from Grimsby, England. This year has been a little tricky with living in 2 different countries, but we've been able to visit each other lots and have lots of fun times. I went to his house for the Christmas holidays and it was really fun to be able to celebrate with his family and experience all of the British traditions. There was also snow, which was fun at first, but the cold and grey/dullness got old after a few days! I didn't know the sun could set SO early. You'd wake up to grey skies, and then it would be grey all day and the sun would set before 4pm! Not cool.

The best thing about this year has definitely been being part of an awesome community group from my church here. I go to an international, English-speaking church, called Oasis. I've made some really, really amazing friends from this church. We currently have our services in the chapel of a Lutheran school here, but we've just bought our own property and soon we are going to have our very own place to meet, which is really exciting!! The new location is going to be in the center of Sol, which is much much closer to where I live. It will be a great thing to have a place to use whenever, for whatever reason. After our services at the school, we always have to clean up quickly and we only have a short time to eat refreshments and socialize..so we move things over the the bar across the street when we get kicked out!

My community group has helped me grow a lot this year. I am really sooo thankful for them. Each week we write down our prayer requests and then put all of the papers in a hat and draw names for the person we will be praying for that week. I think this is a great thing, cos we're all committed to praying for someone! These past few months I've been praying and seeking God's will for my future, and I still don't know for sure what lies ahead, but I know that I'm going to keep following His lead.

One of my favorite lines in Donal Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, says: The ambitions we have will become the stories we live.

I think this is so true. You can look at someone's life and see how the way they live reflects what they want most in life. What I want most is for my life to reflect Christ's love for His people. I want everyone to see how awesome God is and how much He wants for His creation to accept His unconditional love and abundant life. His way is really so much better than ours.

That is all for now. :)

Doing good makes the heart feel good.

Image taken from Catering Azeri Jana webpage

 Tonight was our weekly "sandwich route." Every Friday night a group of us from church get together to make sandwich bags and go around to talk to our homeless friends and give them a little food. We go on the same path each week and have gotten to know some of the people pretty well. I have only been going for the last 5 weeks, and I really enjoy it. Sometimes it's hard. Of the people we talk to, some of them don't speak Spanish or English very well, so our communication is very limited. Other's are drunk and mumble, and it's hard for me to understand their Spanish.

Tonight was a good night. There were 5 of us. The weather was nice and not as cold as it has been. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, (which was a nice change from the week before when a few of the people were drunk/on substances and were acting a little rowdy so we couldn't really speak with them.)

The first group of guys we always visit are 3 Spaniards in their 30's and early 40's. They are usually good fun to talk to. They enjoy talking to us and tonight Alberto even played some guitar for us. The next guys we found in their usual tunnel walkway were both busy doing different things. The one man that is always laying in his sleeping bag was actually asleep, so we left a bag next to his belongings; our other friend was making a home out of cardboard boxes and thanked us while he went on working.

The next group we encouter in Plaza Mayor are 5 or 6 people that are all from the Czech Republic. Some of them don't speak Spanish very well, but find ways to tell us stories using the little they know and hand signals with noises. I usually end up talking to the most outgoing, talkative one of the group, but this time I had a chance to talk to a gentleman probably in his 50's called Paul. Paul was a bit more reserved than my other friend, sitting in a chair and smoking a cigarrette. He told me he goes back and forth between Spain and Italy. He told me of walking up and down the coast of Spain, stopping for dips in the Meditteranean Sea and sleeping on the beach. He told me how Venice is beautiful and the food there is delicious. He kissed my hand as we said a hurried goodbye because another group came at the same time with food and there were too many of us crowded around!

Tonight was a good night. Sometimes it's difficult to find the words to say. These are people who have been through difficult times and have lost loved ones. They sleep out on the streets when the temperatures are freezing.  I hate not knowing what to say to comfort them, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to show them love. I am thankful to be able to serve them in this small way. I hope that we make a difference and they know that we truly enjoy speaking to them. It's not about giving them a little food so that we can feel better about ourselves. We want these people to know the love of Christ. We want them to know that there are people who care about their lives and that they are worthy of being loved. And it really does feel right when you are out talking to people who are lonely and ignored by much of society. Jesus came to serve others, and to hang out with the people who society rejected or looked down upon, and so I'm really thankful for this outreach of my church that gives me an opportunity to spend a few hours each week not just focusing my self.